1. SELF–CARE

First and foremost, please take care of yourself. Here’s what I know: Trans people are magic. Embrace your joy, your sense of who you are, your ability to see beyond the binary, and how you understand the world around you. I know it feels awful and overwhelming and scary right now – I’m truly scared right now too, but you are so much more than that fear. I have lots of posts about mindfulness and dealing with the stress of college admissions, and some of that will work for you for sure if you allow yourself to try it. But, my number one piece of advice to you to make it through these roughest of times is to hold on to you who you are, embrace your joy, share your magic, and know that there are people out there who love you and care about you even if you don’t know them – and you are not alone. Hug your loved ones –even if it’s just a teddy bear. Find someone to talk to in a safe space. Parents and caretakers, show your kids you are there for them. Talk to them. Hug them.

2. Reach out to the School’s LGBTQ+/Campus Pride Organization. Ask questions.

If possible, visit the school and meet with the LBGTQ+ groups and organizations.If you can’t get on campus, educate yourself about the environment on and around campus:

• Have they had instances of anti-trans, anti-queer, anti-gay violence or bullying?
• How do queer and trans students mix with others?
• What kind of support do they provide for your community, especially during these tumultuous times?
• What kind of school participation is there in local pride events?
• Are there LGBTQ+ Campus Student Groups that are funded by the school

3. Talk to Admissions. Ask Questions

Be sure to ask college admissions offices these kinds of questions when doing your research or reaching out on tours/visits/info sessions:

• Do they have sexual identity and gender-inclusive housing?
• Do they have a nondiscrimination policy for trans/queer students?
• Do they allow students to change their names on campus records?
• What resources and opportunities do they have to support trans/queer students?
• Do the schools’ health clinics and health plans cover trans medical care if that’s something you are interested in? Here's a list of colleges that offer gender-affirming care: https://www.gennyb.com/research/trans-supportive-campus-policies/medical-expense-coverage/

4. Keep up with the forms

While many colleges ask for your preferred name, you may still need to use your birth name if it hasn’t been legally changed yet so that all your paperwork and files won’t get lost or disorganized.

• A piece of advice from a parent: “If you choose to use your preferred name (on your application and/or at college), your college may use that name when contacting your parents. For instance, I've gotten emails from colleges my youngest child applied to that used their preferred name and had a student employee call from my eldest's college during a fund drive who used their preferred name. If you aren't out to your family, you may not want to officially use a preferred name at school. The method for asking for gender-neutral housing, signing up to use a preferred name, and getting support is different at each school. In most cases, the best point of contact seems to be the school's LGBTQ+ organization.”
• Common App Updates for 2023 from commonapp.org:
  • Added "X or another legal sex" as an option for legal sex question
  • Expanded the account creation section to include a question asking if students would like to share a different first name that people call them
  • Added a question asking for students to indicate their communication preferences with Common App
  • Common App will not share a student’s answer to this question with colleges, recommenders, or third parties
  • Added “Which name should Common App use when addressing you in the app or via email?” question to the communication preference section
  • Selection will update the display name shown within the student’s Common App account and student-only Common App communications
  • Common App communications to other parties (e.g. parents and recommenders) will continue to use the student's legal name